How I Got Here: A Piece of the Path – Part II

Good afternoon! It’s a beautiful autumn day here in East Texas. A crisp 52 degrees, leaves the color of the top of a  rainbow scattered across the back porch, some dangling, perhaps jingling, like Christmas tree ornaments from their branches. A Christmas CD made by my Dad, who went to Heaven a year ago, plays softly. I’m listening to Barbra Streisand sing “My Favorite Things,” and I could curl into a ball and listen for hours without feeling the least bit restless. I wouldn’t even miss Facebook or Words with Friends on my iPhone. And that’s saying something.

But where was I yesterday…oh yes, Taylor Swift and how my reaction to an over-the-phone, 45-second breakup was less than graceful. I’d been with the heartbreak kid for two years. That was 1/9 of my life, at the time! We were truly, madly, deeply in love, just like the Savage Garden song said! But apparently, college changes things, and marrying my highschool sweetheart just wasn’t, to use a fortune-telling term, in the cards. But instead of leaving the situation in God’s hands, I took control in all the ways I knew how.

Working out had quickly become one of the highlights of my day. After tennis practice, I couldn’t wait to drive over to the gym and learn a new exercise, lift a heavier pair of dumbbells, or complete five more reps that last week. It was an extremely gratifying feeling to see and feel the changes that came with being stronger, fitter, and more confident in the gym as I was on the tennis court. It also was something I was in total control of.

I didn’t notice the significance of this, but when I finally pulled myself off the living room floor after the lovely breakup conversation (more like a monologue than a dialogue), the first place I went was the gym. I also didn’t notice that each workout became longer. Even after my sessions with my trainer, Michael, had ended, I continued to do pushups, situps, pullups, crunches… And when I got tired of the weight room, I hopped on the nearest piece of cardio equipment and ran, stepped, or cycled ’til dinner.

Dinner. That brings up another key player in my self-prescribed healing regimen. Soon enough, slashing calories became as much of a newfound priority as burning them. I ate normally at the dinner table. After all, my family didn’t know I was mentally calculating the calorie content of the salad dressing, roll, baked potato, and filet with the intent of burning it all away the next day.

Six months post-breakup, I was eating lunch in my car. Two-hundred and fifty calories max. I avoided social events if they interfered with my two-hour workout. At restaurants with friends, I became expert at moving my food around with the fork so it looked as though I’d eaten more than half of my entree. At that point, I was repulsed by the oil and butter I knew was lurking beneath the nutritious facade of grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. It was never “healthy” enough.

Well, I’m at 514 words now. Time to bring this post to an end and give thanks again that I am not where or who I was five years ago. Good timing too — “Christ Child’s Lullaby” by Dianne Reeves is beginning to play…

Stay fit, stay faithful ~<3 Di

Share/Bookmark

Related Posts:

Comments

  1. Cathy Cakes! says:

    I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!!!!! it is addictive i just took a quick peek and ended up reading all of it, it is super good! i love it almost as much as i love you. :) keep up the good work honey you done work hard to get where you are!!!

  2. I just wanted to say…you have…NO IDEA…how much, I NEEDED, to find this…MORE than you can even know!!! I am dealing, with some of SAME things, you have… I DONT exercise, because I CAN’T..I had 4 major back surgery’s, and 1 of the screws they used…which was 10 times BIGGER..than they were suppose to use…it went, right thru the muscle..in my back. So…now..with muscle and nerve damage…I get MAJOR..spasms in my back, which causes PAIN..I can’t even describe….so, with the PAIN..STRESS of raising 5 kids, ALONE..with NO HELP..from dad…and when I get stressed…I CAN’T EAT! I can go, 3-4 days…without realizing…I havent had 1 thing, to eat! I have gone down, to 82 lbs…and I am, 5’5 1/2…so you can imagine…HOW I LOOK!! I HATE…going in public…when people come up, grab my arm..and rap their hand around my wrist…and say..OMG..LOOK HOW THIN, YOU ARE…and I would want to disappear!!! made me wonder….do they walk up..to woman 350 lbs..and grab their arm..and say OMG…LOOK HOW FAT YOU ARE??? well, it HURTS..the SAME!! Well..thank you, for sharing this…I thought, I was the ONLY 1..dealing with this, cause you can find 1000 things and articles…on LOSING WEIGHT..but none…on GAINING WEIGHT…so, this was a BLESSING, for me to read! I will be, watching..for anymore, you may write. is there a way..I can come back to this..if I lose where you left comment on FB, which lead me here now..how do I know..if you add more?? well, God Bless you..and may you get…where you hoe, to get..and Pray…I can get, where you have..SOON!! Thanks…Kimi

join the conversation

*

CommentLuv badge

© 2010-2014 Fit for Faith All Rights Reserved